I sat at my desk. Making notes. Looking back on old goals. Looking ahead. My soul itching. An ember of hope flickering. Yet, I found myself scratching my head thinking Here I am again, it must be that time of year.
At least I can notice it now. With every November/December time frame comes a stirring in my soul. Look back where I’ve been, then look ahead to where I’m going. It’s all part of setting goals and forging ahead. But this time there was frustration mounting. The fire burning within me was wavering. I could feel it. Then out of my mouth the words slipped in a quiet whisper,
“Oh Lord, who am I?”
Those quiet words took me back. I chuckled. Louder and louder. How many times am I going to ask myself that? I thought.
For days that scene baffled me. Who am I? Seriously! You would think at forty blah, blah, blah years of age I’d know that answer. Am I a writer, author, teacher, mother, daughter, wife, friend, ministry leader? Who am I, Lord? Who? What do You want me to focus on?
Not knowing whether to laugh or cry over the seriousness of those whispered words I began to dig in deeper to God’s word and His message to me. Finally in a quiet moment I felt the still whisper of God (which was much more comforting than my whisper!).
You are my child. Follow Me.