I see you. You’re stressed. You’re life is out of control. And you feel manipulated by what life has dealt you. You feel you need an outlet to gain control. But please, consider your actions.
Your son sees you.
I’m watching your son. He sees the way you deal with your stresses and how alcohol can no longer drown out the complications of the day. He sees you glaring at other women, while he wonders if she notices too. He sees it all.
He sees you have the tough persona and bully-like attitude trying to manipulate situations at work and then try to switch personalities as you arrive home for supper time. Don’t think he doesn’t notice the shows and movies you escape to watch, as well as the internet sites you visit. He sees.
Your moves and language speak volumes.
Your son loves you. He wants to be like you. But there are moments when you mess with his growing mind. He longs to know you love his mom — and her only. The strong sarcasm and harsh tones you use with her make him wonder what love really is. He wonders if this is how he is to love another.
When you sit and watch inappropriate movies and rave over the women like they are treasures to be had, he doesn’t understand.
His heart knows this is not right.
Dad, when you decide it’s time for him to be a man and take him to strip clubs to teach him about sex, you might think you’re such a good teacher. But the truth is you are setting him up for failure in his future. And by the way, the girls in the club they don’t think your cool. They are totally turned off that a man would bring in their son. Oh Dad, if you could only hear what they say.
See, you have now taught your son that women can be bought as property – the very thing they wish they could escape.
Your son questions you, your motives and wonders about his mom. He sees you manipulate circumstances and cast off concerns and he learns to do the same. He toughens his heart and soon he sees women (including mom) as objects, property, and mates to manipulated just like you.
But more than any of this Dad you are setting your son up to fail. The future with his wife will be jeopardized. The future with his daughter is shaky because true love can not be built while your life emphasizes that woman are a property to be bought and sold. [tweet that, will you Dad?]
And Dad, what does your daughter think?
Don’t think that your actions are private. Word and deeds travel fast. If you could only see into your daughter’s heart she would tell you ‘she’s disgusted.’ Her heart is busted knowing that the father who is to protect and provide for her is out flirting, engaging with, and teaching her brother how buy sex. Her world is shattered by your actions. Her view of man is now hardened because your silent lessons speak louder than your words to her “I love you!”
She questions how she is to love you now. She questions continually. Her heart is disturbed.
Dad, it’s not the actions of the strip club girl that are revolting — it’s your actions. If it weren’t for you paying for sexual pleasures and teaching your son to do the same, there would be no demand for girls. Your daughter sees this. She gets it. Will you?
You can glamorize it all you want, but it’s not.
I see you talk up your actions to other men. You think you’ve won your man badge, because now you have taught your son to go to clubs to pay for women or rather view women as property. You try to glamorize your actions. Yes, we know you can talk a good one. We hear you and we wonder if you are trying to validate your own actions. But the truth is, this is not glamorous. At all. It’s not Hollywood as much as you try to make it sound.
It’s real life and it’s a disgusting dark world. Now you’re a part. But Dad, the sadder thing is that now you’ve made your son a part and made your daughter wonder what her part is.
Dad, please listen. Rise to the occasion. Be brave and go against the grain. Teach your son the true worth of women and how to respect them. Your wife deserves that. Your son deserves that. And your daughter definitely deserves and desires that from her dad.
Dear Dad, this letter is not to condemn you, but to challenge you to please be the man who steps up to teach other men and sons how to value women. Let your actions show your daughter value her — a woman.
Please Dad, don’t set your children up to fail.