Yes, You, Grief!
You have taken my life, stolen my joy and painted me a picture of black!
You have sucked every ounce of breath from my being, taken every hobby and made it a chore. The ability I used to have to manage my life is gone.
You are a thief!
My camera sits unused, my blog unwritten upon, my motivation for life, gone. Hopes, dreams and plans have been wiped away, the slate is blank, the future bleak. Thoughts of ending it all consume my every waking hour – you suck.
I have not picked up my Bible in months; have not attended church since Easter.
My faith is failing me, my hope lost.
Why is it that you have found it so necessary to take up residence within me? You’ve overstayed your welcome, completely left me exhausted emotionally as well as physically. Yet you continue to poke, prod and pick at my thoughts, my heart, and my life.
Is there nothing I can do to remove you from my presence? In my wildest nightmares, I never could have imagined life without my beloved Mark. It’s unfathomable how to navigate these uncharted waters.
Death would be a better ending to this ungodly pain.
It seems you have led me through a dark and winding tunnel only to find at the end, a wall of cement. No way to dig through it, yet too battle-warn to turn around and go back. Going back, oh how I wish that were an option.
But it is not to be, forward, forward, forward, the cries from somewhere deep within my spirit, begging, pleading, and prodding me to keep moving forward.
Grief, you have tried to end my life, to stop every form of life from finding its way out of me. But somehow, today, there seems to be the tiniest glimmer of light far off in the distance. Maybe the cement wall has a crack; maybe the picture of black has the smallest rip in its canvas.
“Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me?
Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my God.” Psalm 42:5
Grief: You have no power over a child of the King,
for My HOPE is in HIM!!
My heart grieves with you today. My daddy passed away a year ago today and your words race through my soul. Praying God wraps His arms around you as you move forward. So thankful for the glimmer of light pressing through as you hang on to God’s truths.
Can your heart relate to the joy that grief has stolen? If so, glean from Anonymous — grief has no power over a child of the King.