Dear Dad –
Where to start….there have been so many years since the last time I saw you.
My last memory was of you pinning mom to the wall with a knife in your hand and threating her. She had already left you, but you hunted her down like a dog. You showed up at the little efficiency she thought she had safely found.
After that you never wrote. You never sent a card, ever. No birthdays. No holidays. NOTHING.
There was no child support. Do you know how hard that was? How much we struggled? We had to get food stamps! I had to stay with a sitter from five in the morning until eight in the evenings while my mother worked overtime just to pay the basic bills. And when mom had to work late I ended up spending the night too.
Words and hurts.
Did you think about me? I don’t think you ever did. I was discarded like trash.
The worst part about you leaving was that I had to hear about it for the next eighteen. Any time I was in trouble I would hear “You are just like your father!” How was I supposed to know that? I never knew you. I was told I was “lazy and worthless.” Do you know how that makes you feel as a ten year old? How about hearing it as a thirteen year old? It has scarred me. There are many wounds that have taken a long time to heal.
You missed everything AMAZING that has happened in my life. I have an amazing husband, amazing kids, and an amazing life. You do NOT get to take credit for this! I did this with the help of my eternal father! He helped me get through all of the pain and loneliness. He guided me when I strayed with those other boys. I just wanted attention. Attention from any males.
Now you want to know about me! Are you kidding? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST 40 YEARS?? Why do you feel privileged?
Thank you Jesus for allowing me to overcome this pain! Thank you Jesus for giving my heart forgiveness, compassion, and understanding.
In the bible God says “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Amen to that!
God wanted me to have these struggles because he has brought me so much more than I think you could have offered. He has offered me eternal life and for that I am forever grateful.
Thank you for this timely reminder that no matter what we go through that God will never leave us. In the hard times when our backs are against the wall for whatever reason, He’s there. I’m thankful to hear that God has redeemed the trials for His glory!
Reader: Have you ever been in a similar situation? Have you felt l betrayed by those who were suppose to love you? Has God redeemed?
To read more anonymous letters in this series, click here.