Positively Alene

stepping over fear to love a messy world

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confession – i’m not a church lady.

It was one of those days when you are so uncomfortable, but you know you have to fight through the emotions plaguing your mind. My fingers began strumming on the table. I was so nervous. I’d lay my hands in my lap, lean backward, then lean in. Breathe, Alene, just breathe I kept telling myself. I wasn’t sure how to say the things that needed to be said. How do I ask someone who has walked out of a dark world to take me back there? It’s not like it was fitting in to the [...]

why you should embrace your brave.

My heart was full of thankfulness that friends had invited me to spend a few days with them in Mexico. I was excited beyond belief when I looked at my calendar and on such short notice I could squeak in four days to get away. I boarded the plane with snorkel gear in my suitcase and books in my bag. Excited and ready for rest in the Caribbean. To say I was impatient to get there, well . . . that’s plain truth. My soul just breaths better in the Caribbean. Really, it does! Books for [...]

mr. president, i know why you didn’t come to my texas border

Mr. President, I was disappointed that you did not visit the Texas/Mexico border when you were less than 300 miles away in Austin. But I get why you didn’t. See that was me years ago — I didn’t want to see. It was easier for me to sit in my suburban home nice and secure while judging and spewing out my point of view about the situation on our borders. I live in Corpus Christi which is less than three hours away from the border. My city sits right off the main corridor that immigrants [...]

three ways to refresh your soul.

I have sat here for weeks trying to form dictionary words to convey the thoughts rolling through my soul. I’ve written disconnected and run-on sentences. I’ve deleted and began again. I come back here now, to finish what I’ve been trying to ink out for weeks. I spent two hours laboring over the words and message. I hit send and prayed it all made sense. The screen went blank. Totally white — and my message was no where to be found. No where. When your heart goes blank. I want to be aggravated at the [...]

are you frustrated with the journey?

When I think back to four years ago, I remember the frustrating days wondering what was next on my journey. The thoughts of where I was headed and why nothing seemed clear were most aggravating. Have you been there? I was teaching full time at church, leading women’s ministry, and speaking around the country. I knew I was right where God had called me, but there was this frustrating angst within my soul. Something that said God was calling me to more. I remember the frustrating days praying and trying to figure out this mystery. The questions and [...]

caution: stuff like this will mess you up bad.

It’s been a crazy few weeks clumsily journeying through this new path God has placed before me. Many days there just aren’t words. I feel numb. And truthfully when words come they are few as the story of my life seems raw and sometimes this journey needs to remain censored for this time. So thanks always for your patience, your encouragement and support as I awkwardly follow where God is leading. Recently, I stood there quietly in a small room prepared to host those who would volunteer to reach those trapped in sexual exploitation on the [...]

getting real with others.

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She captured my eyes from across the field. There we had met the year before as she was a camper in my cabin at youth camp. I was excited to be back and seeing a familiar face was like heaven. She and I had had great conversations the year before. Me sharing mistakes of my youth and her telling of how she was going to rise up to be the leader God had called her to be. Being authentic and real. There is something about sharing the real and raw of life that allows others [...]